by: jannalabarriePosted on:

Rough Daycare Drop-Off? 9 Things Working Moms Need to Remember

Some mornings just fall apart.

Your child doesn’t want to get dressed. Breakfast takes forever. You can’t find the shoes. You’re already running late for work.

And then you get to daycare or preschool—and your child doesn’t want you to leave.

Maybe they cry.

Maybe they cling to you.

Maybe they’re having a full-blown meltdown while you’re watching the clock and thinking about everything waiting for you at work.

And somehow, after finally getting yourself out the door, you’re expected to walk into work, open your laptop, answer emails, talk to coworkers, join meetings, and act like your heart isn’t still sitting in the daycare parking lot.

I Had One of Those Mornings Today

Actually, I had a rough drop-off just this morning as I’m writing this post.

It was one of those mornings that stayed with me long after I left daycare.

I eventually made it to work, but it was hard to catch myself emotionally and transition into work mode. The guilt and anxiety were a lot to cope with while also trying to appear professional and do my job.

That’s one of the things I don’t think we talk about enough as working moms.

The drop-off ends, but sometimes the emotions don’t.

You’re sitting at your desk thinking about how upset your child was. You’re replaying what happened. You’re wondering if you should have done something differently. Maybe you’re questioning whether you should have stayed a little longer.

Meanwhile, work doesn’t stop because you had a hard morning.

People still need things from you. Your emails are still waiting. Your meetings are still happening. You’re still expected to focus and be productive.

So, as much as I’m writing this for another working mom who might need it today, I’m also writing it as a reminder to myself.

If you had one of those mornings too, here are a few things I think we both need to remember.

1. One Rough Morning Doesn’t Mean You’re Doing Anything Wrong

Working mom mornings involve a ridiculous number of moving pieces.

You’re trying to get yourself ready, get your child ready, remember everything everyone needs, get out of the house on time, make it through drop-off, and somehow arrive at work ready to function.

Sometimes it goes smoothly.

Sometimes it absolutely does not.

A difficult morning isn’t proof that you’re disorganized, impatient, or doing something wrong as a mom.

Sometimes it simply means you had a hard morning.

Try not to turn one difficult hour into a judgment about yourself.

2. Your Child’s Tears at Drop-Off Don’t Necessarily Mean They’re Unhappy There

This can be one of the hardest things to remember when your child is crying and reaching for you.

Children can genuinely enjoy daycare or preschool and still struggle with saying goodbye.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

Your child may love their teachers, friends, toys, activities, and routine—and still wish you didn’t have to leave.

If you’re worried, you can always ask the teacher how your child does after you leave. Sometimes hearing that your child calmed down shortly after you left is exactly what you need to get through the rest of your workday.

3. Feeling Guilty Doesn’t Automatically Mean You Did Something Wrong

This was a big one for me this morning.

Guilt can show up almost immediately after a difficult drop-off.

Maybe you lost your patience.

Maybe you rushed your child.

Maybe you didn’t have time for one more hug.

Maybe your child was still crying when you walked away.

Then you get into the car and start replaying everything.

Should I have stayed longer?

Was I too impatient?

Did I make it worse?

Are they okay?

You can feel guilty about something even when you made the best decision you could in the situation you were in.

Guilt is a feeling. It isn’t always evidence that you’ve done something wrong.

If there’s something you genuinely want to handle differently tomorrow, you can.

But you don’t have to spend the entire workday punishing yourself for what happened this morning.

4. Your Child Probably Moved On Much Faster Than You Did

This is something I had to remind myself after my rough drop-off this morning.

While I was at work replaying everything and dealing with the guilt and anxiety, there was a good chance my child had already moved on.

Kids can have big emotions at drop-off and then quickly become distracted by a favorite toy, breakfast, their teacher, or friends. Meanwhile, we’re still sitting at work wondering if they’re okay.

The moment you’re replaying over and over may already be completely over for your child.

They may be playing, laughing, and having a perfectly normal day.

Sometimes we carry a difficult drop-off much longer than they do.

5. It’s Okay If You Need a Few Minutes Before Switching Into Work Mode

One of the hardest parts about being a working mom is how quickly we’re expected to move between roles.

Mom.

Employee.

Sometimes the transition happens within minutes.

There’s no built-in recovery period between your toddler crying at drop-off and someone at work asking you a question.

If you have the ability, give yourself a few minutes to reset.

Sit in the car for a moment.

Drink some water.

Take a few slow breaths.

Walk into work a little more slowly.

Grab your coffee.

Look over your schedule and decide what actually needs your attention first.

This morning, I realized I needed a moment to catch myself.

That’s okay.

You don’t have to go from emotional daycare drop-off to completely composed professional in thirty seconds.

6. You Don’t Have to Fix the Entire Morning

When a morning starts going badly, it’s easy to feel like you need to somehow turn everything around before you leave your child.

You don’t.

Sometimes the goal is simply to get through the next step.

Get dressed.

Get into the car.

Get to daycare.

Say goodbye.

Get yourself to work.

Not every morning needs to be rescued and transformed into a beautiful parenting moment.

Sometimes getting everyone where they need to go is enough.

7. You Can Repair Things Later

Maybe you yelled.

Maybe you were impatient.

Maybe your child was upset and you didn’t respond exactly how you wish you had.

You can reconnect later.

When you’re together again, you can say something simple:

“This morning was hard. Mommy was frustrated and rushed. I’m sorry I yelled. I love you.”

Then hug your child.

Play together.

Read a book.

Talk about their day.

Or simply enjoy being together again.

A difficult interaction in the morning doesn’t erase all the loving moments surrounding it.

8. Tomorrow Is Another Morning

When you’re sitting at work replaying everything that went wrong, it’s easy to start thinking:

Our mornings are a disaster.

But was it really every morning?

Or was today especially hard?

Children change. Sleep changes. Work schedules change. Separation anxiety comes and goes. Sometimes everyone simply wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.

Tomorrow gives you another opportunity to try again.

Maybe you’ll leave ten minutes earlier.

Maybe you’ll put the shoes by the door tonight.

Maybe you’ll simplify breakfast.

Or maybe you’ll change absolutely nothing and tomorrow will naturally be easier.

You don’t need to redesign your family’s entire morning routine because of one difficult drop-off.

9. A Rough Drop-Off Doesn’t Define Your Relationship With Your Child

This might be the reminder I needed most today.

Our relationships with our children aren’t defined by one morning.

They’re built through thousands of ordinary moments.

Morning cuddles.

Bedtime stories.

Silly songs in the car.

Making dinner together.

Weekend adventures.

Holding them when they’re sick.

Listening to the same story for the hundredth time.

Laughing together.

Showing up again and again.

One morning when everyone was tired, frustrated, rushed, or crying doesn’t erase any of that.

Your child isn’t measuring your motherhood by one daycare drop-off.

You shouldn’t either.

If You Had a Rough Drop-Off This Morning Too…

I’m writing this while the emotions from my own morning are still pretty fresh.

And if I’m reminding myself of anything today, it’s this:

A rough morning doesn’t have to become a rough day.

Your child can have a hard drop-off and still have a wonderful day.

You can feel guilty about leaving and still know that going to work is what you need to do.

You can feel anxious and still get through your workday.

You can wish the morning had gone differently without spending the rest of the day beating yourself up about it.

And when you pick your child up later, you get another chance to reconnect.

That’s working motherhood sometimes.

You leave daycare with a lump in your throat, wipe your eyes in the car, pull yourself together, and walk into work because the rest of your day is waiting for you.

Today, that’s exactly what I had to do.

So if that was your morning too, I’m right there with you.

Give yourself some grace.

Let this morning be this morning.

And remember that when you see your little one again, you get to start fresh.

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