I still remember the pit in my stomach the first day I dropped my son off at daycare and headed to work.
He was 13 months old, and leaving him felt like I had left a piece of myself behind.
The guilt. The anxiety. The worry. The constant urge to check my phone.
I cried—a lot.
I knew logically that he was safe and that starting daycare was a normal part of our family’s transition. But knowing that didn’t make those first few drop-offs any easier.
If you’re preparing to send your baby or toddler to daycare for the first time—especially while returning to work—I want you to know that feeling emotional about the transition is completely normal.
It’s a big change for our kids, but it’s a big change for us, too.
In the months leading up to my son’s first day, I did a lot of reading about how to make the transition to daycare easier. There is plenty of advice out there, and not everything worked for us.
But a few things genuinely helped.
Here are the 7 strategies that helped us most when transitioning my son to daycare.
1. Read Books About Going to Daycare or School
Books were one of my favorite ways to introduce the idea of daycare before my son ever walked into his classroom.
A few weeks before he started, we began reading books about daycare, preschool, separation, and saying goodbye.
At 13 months old, he obviously didn’t understand every detail of the stories. But the books introduced him to things he would soon experience—classrooms, teachers, other children, saying goodbye to a parent, and eventually seeing that parent return.
It gave us an easy, positive way to talk about what was coming.
Two of our favorites were Bye-Bye Time by Elizabeth Verdick and Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney. Both address separation and the emotions that can come with being away from a parent.
Even with very young children, reading together can be a gentle way to make an unfamiliar experience feel a little more familiar.
2. Practice the Daycare Routine at Home
My son has always done well with predictable routines, so I knew suddenly changing his entire daily schedule could make the transition harder.
Before his first official day, I asked about his classroom schedule and gradually started adjusting our routine at home.
We moved breakfast, snacks, lunch, and naps closer to the times they would happen at daycare.
That way, the environment would be new, but his entire daily rhythm wouldn’t be.
If your child’s daycare provides a daily schedule, consider asking for it before the first day. You don’t have to recreate it perfectly, but gradually aligning major parts of your child’s routine may help make the change feel less abrupt.
3. Talk About Daycare Positively
Babies and toddlers may not understand every word we say, but they are incredibly good at picking up on our emotions.
And I had plenty of emotions.
Even though I was anxious about starting daycare, I tried not to make daycare sound like something scary or sad.
Instead, we talked about his teachers, the toys he would get to play with, the crafts he might make, and the new friends he would meet.
One thing that helped me feel more positive was learning about some of the benefits of high-quality daycare.
The more comfortable I became with our decision, the easier it was to speak confidently about it around my son.
I wasn’t pretending I wasn’t sad. I was simply trying to show him that daycare could be a safe, positive place even though it was new.
4. Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings
I didn’t want to dismiss my son’s emotions at drop-off.
When he cried or reached for me, I didn’t tell him there was nothing to be upset about. To him, there absolutely was.
His mom was leaving.
Instead, I acknowledged that he didn’t want me to go. I gave him a hug, reassured him that he was safe, and reminded him that I would always come back.
Then I left.
In the beginning, those goodbyes weren’t always quick or easy. There were mornings when the process took longer than I planned—and yes, there were mornings when that meant I arrived at work later than I wanted.
But gradually, things changed.
The long hugs became shorter hugs.
The tears became fewer.
Eventually, daycare became a familiar place filled with people he trusted, and he learned something incredibly important:
Mom leaves, and Mom comes back.
5. Consider a Gradual Transition If You Can
If your schedule and child care provider allow it, easing into full-time daycare may help make the transition feel less overwhelming.
I took a week off work when my son started daycare.
Did it use PTO I would have loved to save?
Absolutely.
Was taking an entire week necessary?
Probably not.
But for our family, it helped.
Instead of immediately going from being home with me to spending a full workday at daycare, we gradually increased the amount of time he stayed.
At first, his days were shorter. As the week progressed, I picked him up later.
By the following week, I was back at work full-time and he was staying at daycare for the entire day.
He wasn’t suddenly 100% adjusted, but the transition felt much more manageable for both of us.
If you can’t take a full week off—and many working moms simply can’t—don’t feel like you have to. Even one or two shorter days before your regular schedule begins may be worth considering if your daycare offers that flexibility.
6. Give Yourself Grace During the First Few Weeks
We spend so much time talking about helping our children adjust to daycare that sometimes we forget something important:
We’re adjusting, too.
Those first few weeks were emotional for me.
I’d hold myself together during drop-off, get into my car, and cry.
Then I’d go to work and wait anxiously for the first daycare update.
When a picture finally appeared showing my son smiling, playing, or sitting happily with his classmates, I could practically feel my entire body relax.
And then came pickup.
Seeing his little face at the end of the workday was everything.
Those early weeks were a roller coaster, and eventually I stopped expecting myself to immediately feel “fine” about the whole thing.
I gave myself permission to miss him.
I rested when I needed to. I took care of myself. I reminded myself that adjusting to our new routine would take time.
You don’t have to love the transition in order to know you’ve made the right decision for your family.
7. Give Your Child Small Choices at Home
Starting daycare involves a lot of changes that our little ones don’t get to choose.
New teachers.
A new classroom.
A different routine.
Time away from Mom or Dad.
One thing I tried to do at home was give my son small opportunities to make his own decisions.
Nothing major. I wasn’t handing a toddler control of the household.
Instead, I’d give him two reasonable options.
Which shirt do you want to wear?
Do you want strawberries or bananas?
Which shoes should we put on?
Giving him choices allowed him to have a little control over his day while still keeping the overall routine manageable.
It also helped encourage independence—something that became increasingly useful as he became more comfortable at daycare.
And as a bonus, I loved watching his little personality emerge as he developed very definite opinions about what he did and did not want!
The Daycare Transition Takes Time—for Both of You
Transitioning to daycare can be hard.
Transitioning to daycare while you’re also returning to work can feel even harder because you’re navigating two major changes at the same time.
Our transition wasn’t perfect.
There were tears.
There were rushed mornings.
There were days when I questioned everything.
And there were plenty of moments when I missed my son terribly while sitting at my desk.
But eventually, something changed.
Daycare stopped feeling like this scary new place where I had to leave my baby.
It became his place.
He developed relationships with his teachers. He made friends. He learned the routine. He started walking into his classroom confidently.
And I started going to work with peace of mind.
It took us a few months to feel completely settled into our new normal, and that’s okay.
Every child—and every mom—adjusts differently.
So if you’re in those difficult first days right now, give yourself and your little one time. Keep showing up, keep offering reassurance, and remember that adjustment doesn’t have to happen overnight.
One day, you may realize that the tearful daycare drop-offs have quietly turned into quick hugs, happy goodbyes, and a little one who’s ready to run off and start their day.
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