Sending big hugs to all the working moms who are about to enroll (or recently enrolled) their babies into daycare. It can be a rough time on all fronts – emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Starting our kids in daycare is hard for so many reasons. There’s the challenge of returning to work after maternity leave. There’s the emotional weight of leaving our littles in the care of someone else. And then, there’s the daycare germs. Oh, the daycare germs! They will hit us like a ton of dirty bricks, repeatedly, in the first year of daycare.
Get the household ready – the cycle of sickness when kids start daycare is known as ‘daycare syndrome.’ It can be one of the hardest parts of the home-to-daycare transition.
What is daycare syndrome?
Going to daycare is a big transition for our kids. They have to leave the comfort of home and enter a busy environment with lots of strange, new faces. There’s going to be an adjustment period in which they must adapt to the new surroundings – and new germs.
During this adjustment period, our kids will get sick very often as they are exposed to a variety of new germs from other little humans. And we – and just about everyone in the household – will be getting sick right along with them.
That inevitable cycle of recurring sickness that happens when our kids go to daycare is informally known as daycare syndrome.
Daycare syndrome can be one of the hardest parts of transitioning to daycare, but – silver lining – it actually helps strengthen our kids’ immune systems, and it gets much easier to handle after the first year. Keep those things in mind the next time your baby brings home the new virus of the week.
The toll of daycare syndrome on working moms
We know that getting sick strengthens our kids’ immunity (eventually). We also know there are lots of social and developmental benefits to enrolling them in daycare. But these things don’t happen overnight! In the interim, we’ll have to deal with our fair share of stuffy noses and sleepless nights.
Transitioning to daycare is really hard for our kids. But let’s take a moment to acknowledge that it’s also really hard for us moms, too. In the first year, I was sick every week right along with my son – while also working full time and navigating new motherhood. It was a *challenging* time for my mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. Honestly, I felt like a zombie for the majority of the year.
Not to be dramatic, but there were days I felt like I was one sneeze away from a complete mental breakdown.
Along with just constantly feeling ick, I also had a tough time at work. I was always fatigued, which meant my performance suffered. I called out often, so my PTO was in the negative numbers. My coworkers gave me massive side-eyes for said call-outs and leaving work early all the time. My patients looked understandably uneasy being treated by a visibly ill physical therapist.
The emotional and mental stress was at an all time high – a perfect recipe for burnout.
At one point I distinctly remember bursting into tears at work after getting a call from the daycare – for what seemed like the hundredth time that month – to come pick up my son early because he was sick.
All of this was happening while I was trying to reintegrate myself into work, pump every few hours, keep up with daycare schedules, adapt to being a new mom, and prevent the house from falling into complete chaos.
But hey – we survived. As daunting as it sounds, we got through it and you will, too.
If I could give my younger mom-self some advice it would be this: a little preparation, communication, grace, and self-care makes all the difference when it comes to getting through that first year of daycare.
Here are some tips for dealing with daycare syndrome in the first year.
7 tips for dealing with daycare syndrome in the first year
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1. Stocking the medicine cabinet
One of the most valuable things I did to prepare for the home-to-daycare transition was stocking up my medicine cabinet early. As in, weeks before our first day of daycare early. I actually don’t even think my son was officially enrolled in daycare before I stocked up.
Having everything we needed made it so much easier to get through the week once the sickness hit. Because, let’s face it, mid-week grocery store runs after a long day of work are no fun. Medicine cabinet essentials include:
- Children’s Tylenol (Amazon paid link) / Infant’s Tylenol (Amazon paid link)
- Saline spray or drops (Amazon paid link)
- Snot sucker (Amazon paid link)
- Vicks Baby Rub (Amazon paid link)
- Thermometer (Amazon paid link)
- Adult cold and pain meds
- Sanitizing wipes and spray
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about working mom life, it’s that you can never be too prepared.
2. Practice self-care
Self-care is always important for moms. It becomes especially important during the first year of daycare to help manage the stress of it.
I’m not talking about going to the spa for massages or taking luxury vacations. Nobody has time for that. I mean simple, basic acts of self-care that we can do throughout the day – micro self-care moments.
Making an effort to stay hydrated, eat well, meditate, and get as much sleep as I could helped me recover faster, feel less stressed, and have enough energy to get through the work day.
Listen, I know finding time for self-care is difficult for working moms, but any time we can dedicate to it helps.
3. Get a humidifier for the bedroom
I was never a big humidifier user, but it turned out to be incredibly helpful in the first year of daycare.
Humidifiers put moisture into the air, which helps clear the nasal passages and ease breathing when we have an infection like the cold or flu.
Using a humidifier made a huge difference in the quality of our sleep when my son and I were sick. He coughed less and didn’t wake up as much, which meant I was able to get a more restful night’s sleep.
I used the Frida Baby 3-in-1 Cool Mist Humidifier (Amazon paid link). It’s a bit of a pain to clean (I cleaned it every night with a tiny little brush to avoid mold buildup), but it was worth it.
4. Communicate with colleagues
We may assume it’s understood, but some people really don’t know that there’s a transition period after starting daycare. That’s especially true if they don’t have kids (or if the kids came so long ago they forgot what it was like).
With daycare syndrome being the beast that it is, we should let our colleagues know we’re going through the transition.
They don’t have to know all the details, but simply communicating that we’re expecting a tough time for a few months while we adjust is enough. They’ll appreciate the heads up.
5. Take it slowly at work
When we’ve been out of work on maternity leave for a while, we sometimes feel pressured to jump right back in and be the boss ladies we were pre-baby. Maybe we can.
Unfortunately, we might be setting ourselves up for failure by taking on too much too soon during the daycare and return-to-work transition.
There’s no rush – work will always be there. In the first 3-4 months of going back to work, I avoided taking on more than the minimum if I could. Sounds bad, but it helped me get through the transition without the added pressure.
6. Follow the pediatrician’s advice
Listening to the medical experts on our baby’s health is so important for making it through the daycare transition period.
Whenever my baby was sick, I never hesitated to call or make an appointment with his pediatrician. It gave me peace of mind to have him checked out and rule out anything serious.
She also gave me practical advice I wouldn’t find on the internet to help make the recovery process smoother.
7. Have backup care
Sometimes, our jobs aren’t very gracious with time off or we simply don’t have enough PTO for yet another day. In those cases, it helps to have backup childcare options to give us a safety net and peace of mind.
It’s a good idea to have conversations early on in the daycare transition period to figure out who’s available to call on when you need help.
Family members, trusted friends, or recommended babysitters are all helpful to have in our circles for backup child care in the first year.
Pro mom tip: daycare or preschool teachers may have connections with other sitters or may even babysit on the side for a fee.
The first year of transitioning into daycare is rough, particularly because this is the time we’re also returning to work and dealing with the new responsibilities of motherhood.
Preparing for the transition doesn’t make it painless, but it does help to soften the blow. A little bit of self-care, preparation, communication, and grace can go a long way.
The good news is that it does get better, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. By the second year of daycare, I didn’t feel like I was getting such a beatdown anymore. We weren’t getting sick as much, I was actually starting to save my PTO again, and the chaos was over – just in time for the toddler years!
References
- Integration, Contently. “Keeping Your Kids Healthy in Child Care.” UPMC HealthBeat, 31 May 2023, share.upmc.com/2023/05/daycare-syndrome/.
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