Your baby is about to start (or has already started) daycare! Sending lots of hugs to you, mama. It can be a rough time for everyone.
Not only is there the challenge of returning to work after maternity leave (if you plan on returning), there’s also the emotional weight of leaving the little one you’ve become so attached to in the care of someone else. And no matter how qualified and wonderful that person may be, it still hurts us to the core.
And there’s something else to deal with too – the daycare germs. Oh, the daycare germs! Getting exposed to all the daycare illnesses is just one of the many challenges we face when our babies start daycare.
Prepare to get sick. Often.
Listen, I wish I could say there was a way to avoid this. It’s just an unpleasant reality. Your baby, who likely up until this point has not been exposed to a lot of germs from you or anyone else, has entered an environment teeming with them.
We know it builds their immunity. We also know there are lots of social and developmental benefits to enrolling them in daycare. But these things don’t happen overnight! There will be a recurring cycle of sickness for many months for both you and your little one.
Some of the more common daycare illnesses include:
- Pink eye
- The stomach bug
- Hand-foot-mouth disease
- RSV
- Strep throat
Fun times ahead.
When my son first started daycare, we were both sick almost every other week for the first four months. As a matter of fact, my baby’s first daycare virus was none other than COVID. It was miserable. After that smackdown, I then got two severe stomach bugs within the span of two months that, collectively, had me out for weeks. Between my baby being sick and then me inevitably getting sick too, I used up basically all of my PTO in a very short time.
Even with supportive colleagues and managers, I could feel their disappointment when I had to call off unexpectedly, leaving them scrambling to deal with my abandoned workload. At one point I distinctly remember bursting into tears at work after getting a call from the daycare – for what seemed like the hundredth time that month – to come and pick up my son early. Thank goodness for my coworkers that day.
And then there’s the difficulty of taking care of a sick baby when you yourself are sick. It’s a hard job made even harder.
So that’s the harsh truth of it. Your experience may be better or worse, but you won’t go completely unscathed.
Is there any way to make this transition a little less brutal?
If you’ve reached the acceptance phase, you might be wondering if there’s a way to make this experience a little less rough.
Having a fully stocked medicine cabinet is helpful. Don’t wait until you and your baby are sick to stock up. My must haves include:
- Infant Tylenol
- Baby Frieda snot sucker
- Saline nasal spray
- Pedialyte
- Thermometer
- Lysol spray
- Disinfecting wipes
Don’t forget to also get adult cold and pain relief medicine for yourself too, mama – you’ll need it! I pretty much always have DayQuil and Tylenol on hand.
Practice good self care. Self care includes staying hydrated, eating well, and getting enough sleep (as much as you can) to ease your recovery and soften the blow. Stress can also make you more prone to getting sick. As you are adjusting to the daycare transition, make time for your emotional wellness – meditation, journaling, gratitude lists, and grounding techniques can help to clear your mind and reduce anxiety.
A humidifier in the bedroom can help at night. Humidifiers put moisture back into the air, which can assist with clearing the nasal passages and allowing you and baby to breathe better at night. It’s especially helpful when you’re sick.
Communicate with your colleagues and managers. You may assume it’s understood, but some people don’t really know that there’s a transition period after starting daycare – especially if they don’t have kids. Simple communication can go a long way in setting up expectations and preparing for the possibility of work call-outs. My advice – give them treats. It’s worth it, trust me. Having supportive colleagues can make a world of difference!
Don’t start any new projects or take on too much during this time if you’re going back to work. You’ve been out of work for a while, and maybe you feel the need to prove that you can jump right back in and be the boss lady you always were. Maybe you could. But you may be setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations and frustration. I made that mistake myself and I learned the hard way. A better strategy would have been to wait until both me and my baby were more adapted to the transition. There’s no rush – work will always be there. Focus on yourself and your family first! You’ll probably have better mental clarity to start new projects when you’re not getting gut punched by a new virus every week.
Follow your pediatrician’s advice. Stay up to date on vaccinations and recommendations from the expert on your baby’s health. When your little one is sick, don’t hesitate to call or make an appointment – it’ll give you peace of mind to have your baby assessed by a professional. They may also be able to give you experienced and practical advice you won’t find on the internet.
Recruit alternate caregivers in advance. If your job isn’t very flexible or you’ve run out of PTO, it helps to have some other backup in case you need it. Family members, trusted friends, or recommended babysitters may all be helpful to have in your circle for when you just can’t leave work. Daycare teachers may also have connections with other sitters or may even do it on the side for a fee. Have conversations with them early on in the daycare process so that they know it’s a possibility that you might need their help.
It does get better.
I will say that after the first year, both my son’s immunity my own went to master levels. Little colds were no more than an annoyance for me, and my toddler mostly just slept them off. It was nowhere near as bad as the beginning. So I can tell you from experience, things will get easier.
Everything started normalizing after about the first six months, but I truly felt like we were fully settled around the ten month mark.
Give yourself about a year. You will get through it! One day you’ll find you’re not getting sick as much, you’re actually starting to save your PTO again, and your baby is handling minor illnesses like the little champ they are.
Good luck – you’ve got this.
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