Do you feel like you’re spreading yourself thin between work and family life? Do you feel like work is draining you emotionally and interfering with your well-being and happiness?
You might need to re-evaluate your work boundaries.
Setting boundaries at work is something that a lot of us struggle with, myself included. Saying no can be uncomfortable, particularly when many office cultures place so much value on being a “team player.”
Why Setting Work Boundaries Is Hard
There are many reasons why saying no is so difficult at work. Some of those might be:
You have perfectionist tendencies
Perfectionist tendencies can make it hard to set firm boundaries, especially if those tendencies apply to your job. You want to make sure that you perform your work tasks at a high standard and get the job done. That often means staying at work late, working off the clock, and doing things yourself instead of delegating.
You have a fear of missing out (FOMO) on potential opportunities
I’m guilty of having real FOMO when it comes to work opportunities, especially if there’s a chance for self-growth or meeting new people. I want to attend all the seminars and say yes to all the special projects. True, I have learned a ton and it puts me in a favorable light with my colleagues, but this very non-strategic approach to self development hasn’t particularly helped me move much towards my personal goals.
You just started a new job
If you’ve recently started a new job, it might feel a bit uncomfortable trying to set boundaries while you’re trying to get out of the new-girl phase. You might want be reluctant to overstep or appear ‘difficult’ or ‘entitled’.
You want to prove your value
Another reason saying no at work is hard for moms in particular is that we might feel the need to “prove” that motherhood doesn’t affect our ability to perform highly at our jobs, particularly if we’re returning from maternity leave. We want to show that we can be excellent moms and skilled career-women at the same time. This can be especially true for moms in male-dominated fields or executive roles.
Although it can be hard to say no and set boundaries at work, it’s necessary for our mental health, work-life balance, and progress towards our personal goals. If we don’t set firm boundaries, we end up risking our own health and well-being.
The Benefits Of Setting Work Boundaries
Setting appropriate and respectful boundaries at work is an important part of improving occupational wellness, achieving healthy work-life balance, and promoting overall well-being. Here are some of the ways we benefit:
It helps us achieve our goals
When you set boundaries at work, you create the space to pursue your personal goals. The energy and time you would have put into work are now free to be used elsewhere. That extra 30 minutes you spend working off the clock every day may not seem like much, but add that up over the week and you’re looking at 150 minutes – that’s two and a half hours. There’s probably quite a lot you could do with that time!
It makes us more productive
Having healthy boundaries can make us more productive at work by increasing focus and reducing feelings of burnout. When you know you have a certain amount of time to get something done, you’re generally more attentive and more motivated to finish. And when you allow yourself to have some separation from work, your mind isn’t overwhelmed from being constantly “on” and you can be more focused when you actually are at work.
It prevents burnout
A staggering 49% of moms in mid- to high-income jobs and 32% of moms in lower income jobs reported feeling burned out at work based on data obtained in 2023. Boundary-setting at work contributes to a sense of control and occupational wellbeing, and is a key factor in preventing burnout. This is a significant problem across many fields and can have a big impact on our mental, physical, and emotional health.
It promotes well-being
Occupational well-being is an important component of overall wellness. It’s related to how we feel about our work, our professional purpose, and the satisfaction we get from our jobs. Setting boundaries makes us feel less stressed out and more satisfied professionally, which contributes to improved occupational wellness and ultimately, a better sense of overall well-being.
How To Set Boundaries At Work
Prioritize what’s important now
Before setting your boundaries, it’s important to prioritize what’s important to you. What are your goals right now?
When I first started working, I was all about my career. I was the person who said yes to every request and always volunteered for all the things. After I had my son, my priorities understandably shifted more towards family life. When I went back to work after maternity leave, I tried to maintain the same level of commitment at work as I once did, but it was causing me serious burnout and left me no time for myself. I had to make a choice for my own sanity, even though I knew it would mean less time for my career development.
Your goals may be different. You may want to focus more on self-care and well-being, or personal growth in a different area. Knowing what you want makes it much easier to figure out what kinds of boundaries you need to set and how to communicate them. Spend some time narrowing down your prioritize and be honest with yourself.
Be respectful, firm, and consistent
You’ve done the work of defining your priorities and figured out the boundaries you want to set… now it’s time to communicate them to your colleagues. This is probably the part that most people struggle with, particularly when there are power dynamics involved or prior expectations that people already have. It’s okay if you’ve done something a hundred times before – situations change, and you can too.
It might help to classify the boundaries you set as soft or hard to determine how much wiggle room you have. Exceptions can be made for soft boundaries, but not for hard ones. Just be mindful of your communication and try to maintain consistency. It might be awkward at first, but pretty soon, the boundaries you’ve set will make space for a new norm.
Start small
It can be difficult to start suddenly saying no to things you used to do all the time. Starting small makes the process more manageable – instead of promptly leaving at the time you’re supposed to get off every day, start with leaving on time a few times a week or gradually shifting the time up by five minutes every day. Big changes are more difficult for us to make than small ones, but it may be more digestible for both yourself and the people you work with.
Examples Of Setting Work Boundaries
Setting boundaries at work doesn’t mean saying no to everyone and everything. It just means *respectfully* taking control of your time, energy, and commitments. Here are some examples of what that might look like:
- Only taking on one or two new projects at a time
- Leaving when your shift is over
- Not responding to emails or work texts after hours
- Skipping after-hour work events
- Completing work tasks only during your scheduled work hours
- Using your time off when you need it and not feeling guilty about taking time off
- Not consistently taking on the work responsibilities of others
- Not working during lunch breaks
- Taking uninterrupted breaks
- Not scheduling meetings after work hours
Setting boundaries at work might be hard, but it’s important for your mental and physical wellbeing. If you’re worried about your career advancement, I understand – we work hard to get where we are and the thought of jeopardizing that hurts. But the stress and anxiety of trying to do and have it all at the same time hurts too. The boundaries you set don’t have to be drastic – small changes can make a big difference.
