If your baby is about to start (or has already started) daycare, I’m sending lots of hugs to you, mama. It can be a rough time for everyone.
Not only is there the challenge of returning to work after maternity leave and working while your baby goes to daycare, there’s also the emotional weight of leaving the little one you’ve become so attached to in the care of someone else. And no matter how qualified and wonderful that person may be, it still hurts us to the core.
And there’s something else to deal with too – the daycare germs. All those infamous daycare germs. Getting exposed to all those illnesses is just one of the many challenges we face when our babies start daycare.
Prepare To Get Sick, Often.
The first part of adapting to the transition is understanding that getting sick is unavoidable. I wish I could say otherwise, but it’s just an unpleasant reality. Your baby, who likely up until this point has not been exposed to a lot of germs from you or anyone else, has suddenly entered an environment teeming with them. That means they – and you – are going to get sick a lot.
We know it builds our kids’ immunity. We also know there are lots of social and developmental benefits to enrolling them in daycare. But these things don’t happen overnight! There will be a recurring cycle of sickness for many months for both you and your little one. Some of the more common daycare illnesses include:
- Pink eye
- The stomach bug
- Hand-foot-mouth disease
- RSV
- Strep throat
Fun times ahead.
The emotional and physical toll of daycare syndrome
As a working mom, being sick often means that, along with all the unpleasant physical symptoms of the above illnesses, you may also experience:
- Difficulty performing at work due to fatigue and poor sleep
- A drain on your PTO resulting in little opportunity for time off
- Having to go to work sick
- Possible strain on work relationships for calling out of work often or leaving early to pick up sick kids
- Increased emotional stress and feelings of burnout
When my son first started daycare, we were both sick almost every other week for the first five months. As a matter of fact, my baby’s first daycare virus was none other than COVID. It was miserable. After that smackdown, I then got two severe stomach bugs within the span of two months that, collectively, had me out of work for weeks. Between my baby being sick and then me inevitably getting sick too, I used up all of my PTO in a very short time.
Even with supportive colleagues and managers, I could feel their disappointment when I had to call off unexpectedly, leaving them scrambling to deal with my abandoned workload. At one point I distinctly remember bursting into tears at work after getting a call from the daycare – for what seemed like the hundredth time that month – to come and pick up my son early. Thank goodness for my coworkers that day.
On top of all that emotional and physical stress, there’s the difficulty of taking care of a sick baby when you’re also sick. Sick babies don’t sleep very well and need lots of cuddles and care, but that can be difficult when you’re also under the weather.
Dealing with daycare syndrome in the first year of daycare
Even though you are very likely to get sick many times in the first year of daycare, a little preparation can help make things go a little smoother. It’s tough, but you will get through it.
Stock the medicine cabinet. Don’t wait until you and your baby are sick to stock up on medicine and essentials. Trust me, you’re not going to want to go anywhere when you’re stumbling through the day on 3 hours of sleep and your toddler is miserable. Some of my medicine cabinet must-haves include:
- Infant Tylenol
- Baby Frieda snot sucker
- Saline nasal spray
- Pedialyte
- Thermometer
- Lysol spray
- Disinfecting wipes
- Your preferred adult cold and pain medicine (DayQuil, Theraflu, lozenges, Tylenol etc.)
Practice good self-care and hygiene. When you are sick, self-care strategies are important to help ease your recovery and manage emotional stress. That includes staying hydrated, eating well, washing your hands to prevent spreading of germs, and getting enough sleep (as much as you can). Stress can also prolong recovery and make you more prone to getting sick again, so try to make time for your emotional and physical well-being.
Get a humidifier for the bedroom. Humidifiers put moisture back into the air, which can assist with clearing the nasal passages and allowing you and baby to breathe better at night. This helps to ease nighttime congestion and make sleeping easier for both of you.
Communicate with your colleagues and managers. You may assume it’s understood, but some people don’t really know that there’s a transition period after starting daycare – especially if they don’t have kids. Simple communication can go a long way in setting up expectations and preparing for the possibility of work call-outs. Having supportive colleagues can make a world of difference!
Don’t start any new projects if you’re just getting back to work. If you’ve been out of work for a while, maybe you feel the need to prove that you can jump right back in and be the boss lady you always were. Maybe you can. But you may be setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations and frustration. There’s no rush – work will always be there. And in any case, you’ll probably have an easier time handling new projects when you’re not getting gut punched by a new virus every week.
Follow your pediatrician’s advice. Stay up to date on vaccinations and recommendations from the expert on your baby’s health. When your little one is sick, don’t hesitate to call or make an appointment – it’ll give you peace of mind to have your baby assessed by a professional. They may also be able to give you experienced and practical advice you won’t find on the internet to help quicken your baby’s recovery.
Recruit alternate caregivers in advance. If your job isn’t very flexible or you’ve run out of PTO, it helps to have some other backup in case you need it. Family members, trusted friends, or recommended babysitters may all be helpful to have in your circle for when you just can’t leave work. Daycare teachers may have connections with other sitters or may even babysit on the side for a fee. Have conversations with them early on in the daycare process to figure out who’s available to call on when you need help.
This transition to daycare is just that – a transition. It’s rough for the first year, but it gets better. After our first year of starting daycare, both my son’s immunity and my own improved significantly. Little colds were no more than an annoyance, and my toddler mostly just slept them off. When I did get sick, I didn’t get knocked down so hard and could function fairly well throughout the day. So I can tell you from experience, things will get easier.
Give yourself about a year. You will get through it! One day you’ll find you’re not getting sick as much, you’re actually starting to save your PTO again, and your baby is handling minor illnesses like the little champ they are.
